32-Year Veteran Speaks Out — Transgender in the Military (Part 1)

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22,148 words · 50:09 runtime

00:00 Introduction — Serving Authentically in Uniform

0:03 This powerful interview with Sloan, a This powerful interview with Sloan, a 32-year military veteran, was recorded 32-year military veteran, was recorded 32-year military veteran, was recorded while she and I were still on active while she and I were still on active while she and I were still on active duty and is being released now for the duty and is being released now for the duty and is being released now for the first time. On this landmark episode of first time. On this landmark episode of first time. On this landmark episode of Voice for Valor, we confront a vital Voice for Valor, we confront a vital Voice for Valor, we confront a vital question for our time.

0:16 question for our time. question for our time. >> Tomorrow, there should be thousands of >> Tomorrow, there should be thousands of >> Tomorrow, there should be thousands of people who wake up and get processed people who wake up and get processed people who wake up and get processed out. The harm will be done out. The harm will be done out. The harm will be done >> at a moment when transgender rights are >> at a moment when transgender rights are >> at a moment when transgender rights are at the center of a national political at the center of a national political at the center of a national political firestorm. hundreds of women who are

0:29 firestorm. hundreds of women who are firestorm. hundreds of women who are currently in the infantry, lethal currently in the infantry, lethal currently in the infantry, lethal members of our military serving in the members of our military serving in the members of our military serving in the infantry, but you degrade them. You say, infantry, but you degrade them. You say, infantry, but you degrade them. You say, "We need moms, but not in the military, "We need moms, but not in the military, "We need moms, but not in the military, especially in combat units." especially in combat units." especially in combat units." >> I would point out, I've never disparaged

0:43 >> I would point out, I've never disparaged >> I would point out, I've never disparaged women serving in the military. I respect women serving in the military. I respect women serving in the military. I respect every single female service member that every single female service member that every single female service member that has put on the uniform, past and has put on the uniform, past and has put on the uniform, past and present. What is the reality for a present. What is the reality for a present. What is the reality for a service member who chooses to live their service member who chooses to live their service member who chooses to live their truth within the US military? In part

0:57 truth within the US military? In part truth within the US military? In part one of this landmark two-part series, I one of this landmark two-part series, I one of this landmark two-part series, I sit down with Sloan, a highly decorated sit down with Sloan, a highly decorated sit down with Sloan, a highly decorated retired officer who transitioned while retired officer who transitioned while retired officer who transitioned while on active duty. Sloan shares a raw and on active duty. Sloan shares a raw and on active duty. Sloan shares a raw and unflinching account of her journey from unflinching account of her journey from unflinching account of her journey from grappling with gender dysphoria in the

1:13 grappling with gender dysphoria in the grappling with gender dysphoria in the hyper masculine world of explosive hyper masculine world of explosive hyper masculine world of explosive ordinance disposal or EOD to the immense ordinance disposal or EOD to the immense ordinance disposal or EOD to the immense courage it took to begin her transition courage it took to begin her transition courage it took to begin her transition under the military's microscope. This is under the military's microscope. This is under the military's microscope. This is not a theoretical discussion. It's a not a theoretical discussion. It's a not a theoretical discussion. It's a deeply personal narrative of fear,

1:29 deeply personal narrative of fear, deeply personal narrative of fear, resilience, and the fight to be seen. resilience, and the fight to be seen. resilience, and the fight to be seen. Sloan provides unparalleled insights Sloan provides unparalleled insights Sloan provides unparalleled insights into her experiences, including candid into her experiences, including candid into her experiences, including candid leadership discussions about her leadership discussions about her leadership discussions about her identity with senior officials like identity with senior officials like identity with senior officials like former chairman of Joint Chiefs of

1:42 former chairman of Joint Chiefs of former chairman of Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Mark Millie. This episode Staff, General Mark Millie. This episode Staff, General Mark Millie. This episode is a vital lesson that touches on a core is a vital lesson that touches on a core is a vital lesson that touches on a core of American principle. You can agree or of American principle. You can agree or of American principle. You can agree or disagree with an individual's personal disagree with an individual's personal disagree with an individual's personal life choices, but what cannot be debated life choices, but what cannot be debated life choices, but what cannot be debated is the freedom to live an authentic

1:58 is the freedom to live an authentic is the freedom to live an authentic life. A freedom that service members life. A freedom that service members life. A freedom that service members like Sloan have sworn an oath to protect like Sloan have sworn an oath to protect like Sloan have sworn an oath to protect for all of us. This is the human story for all of us. This is the human story for all of us. This is the human story behind the headlines. A story of behind the headlines. A story of behind the headlines. A story of service, identity, and the service, identity, and the service, identity, and the transformative power of living with transformative power of living with

2:14 transformative power of living with courage. In this episode, you will hear courage. In this episode, you will hear courage. In this episode, you will hear about the weight of dysphoria, about the weight of dysphoria, about the weight of dysphoria, a personal in-depth explanation of a personal in-depth explanation of a personal in-depth explanation of gender dysphoria and the lifelong gender dysphoria and the lifelong gender dysphoria and the lifelong journey to self-acceptance. journey to self-acceptance. journey to self-acceptance. You will also hear transitioning under You will also hear transitioning under You will also hear transitioning under pressure, the immense personal and

2:31 pressure, the immense personal and pressure, the immense personal and professional challenges of transitioning professional challenges of transitioning professional challenges of transitioning as a senior leader in the US military. as a senior leader in the US military. as a senior leader in the US military. Also, leadership and acceptance, candid Also, leadership and acceptance, candid Also, leadership and acceptance, candid stories of interacting with top military stories of interacting with top military stories of interacting with top military leaders like General Millie and about leaders like General Millie and about leaders like General Millie and about being a transgender service member, the

2:47 being a transgender service member, the being a transgender service member, the power of storytelling, why sharing power of storytelling, why sharing power of storytelling, why sharing personal narratives is the most powerful personal narratives is the most powerful personal narratives is the most powerful tool to break down barriers and foster tool to break down barriers and foster tool to break down barriers and foster understanding in a divided world. understanding in a divided world. understanding in a divided world. And last, a life in EOD, an inside look And last, a life in EOD, an inside look And last, a life in EOD, an inside look at a distinguished career and one of

3:02 at a distinguished career and one of at a distinguished career and one of military's most dangerous and respected military's most dangerous and respected military's most dangerous and respected fields. fields. fields. Join us for a profound and necessary Join us for a profound and necessary Join us for a profound and necessary conversation that stands as a testament conversation that stands as a testament conversation that stands as a testament to courage and the fundamental to courage and the fundamental to courage and the fundamental importance of supporting every importance of supporting every importance of supporting every individual who takes an oath to serve.

3:19 individual who takes an oath to serve. individual who takes an oath to serve. >> Done this in a long time. >> Done this in a long time. >> Done this in a long time. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> It's been about 6 months, right? It was >> It's been about 6 months, right? It was >> It's been about 6 months, right? It was November time frame. November time frame. November time frame. >> It was November. It was November. So, we >> It was November. It was November. So, we >> It was November. It was November. So, we Yeah, cuz I was still recovering from Yeah, cuz I was still recovering from Yeah, cuz I was still recovering from that surgery and then it was before the that surgery and then it was before the that surgery and then it was before the election

3:33 election election and then things happened. I've shared and then things happened. I've shared and then things happened. I've shared some of your more emotional looking some of your more emotional looking some of your more emotional looking photos with others. People love it. You photos with others. People love it. You photos with others. People love it. You remember when you sat over there and I remember when you sat over there and I remember when you sat over there and I had the separate light and you were had the separate light and you were had the separate light and you were sitting in the chair? I did some did sitting in the chair? I did some did

3:46 sitting in the chair? I did some did some more dynamic dynamic range photos some more dynamic dynamic range photos some more dynamic dynamic range photos and people really liked it. Yeah, I get and people really liked it. Yeah, I get and people really liked it. Yeah, I get that that that >> because you provided some vulnerability >> because you provided some vulnerability >> because you provided some vulnerability there and so I like to get people there and so I like to get people there and so I like to get people >> and those staged looks. It's just so >> and those staged looks. It's just so >> and those staged looks. It's just so cheesy and I I just don't enjoy it. So

4:02 cheesy and I I just don't enjoy it. So cheesy and I I just don't enjoy it. So honestly like us having this honestly like us having this honestly like us having this conversation right now, this is conversation right now, this is conversation right now, this is typically how I will set up typically how I will set up typically how I will set up my studio sessions because I tend to my studio sessions because I tend to my studio sessions because I tend to capture older more authentic moments. capture older more authentic moments. capture older more authentic moments. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, credit >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, credit >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, credit to you for creating a space where people

4:19 to you for creating a space where people to you for creating a space where people can be vulnerable because vulnerability can be vulnerable because vulnerability can be vulnerable because vulnerability doesn't come as we've talked about like doesn't come as we've talked about like doesn't come as we've talked about like very easily for people who've grown up very easily for people who've grown up very easily for people who've grown up in an institution over so many decades in an institution over so many decades in an institution over so many decades like you and I have. like you and I have. like you and I have. >> It's not something that's welcome. >> It's not something that's welcome.

4:34 >> It's not something that's welcome. >> Um, but you know, together with good >> Um, but you know, together with good >> Um, but you know, together with good people, it's easy to do. people, it's easy to do. people, it's easy to do. So, credit to you. So, credit to you. So, credit to you. >> I appreciate that. you sent me that >> I appreciate that. you sent me that >> I appreciate that. you sent me that message from Law Dork about, okay, it's message from Law Dork about, okay, it's message from Law Dork about, okay, it's officially over. They've released the officially over. They've released the officially over. They've released the the forum and I don't know if there was

4:51 the forum and I don't know if there was the forum and I don't know if there was an executive order or whatever, but it an executive order or whatever, but it an executive order or whatever, but it was that that that policy letter. was that that that policy letter. was that that that policy letter. >> Yep. >> Yep. >> Yep. >> And I was just like, here we go again. >> And I was just like, here we go again.

05:00 Who Sloane Was Before the Army Knew

5:00 >> And I was just like, here we go again. This is exactly what we were talking This is exactly what we were talking This is exactly what we were talking about in November when we were thinking about in November when we were thinking about in November when we were thinking about, you know, worst case scenarios. about, you know, worst case scenarios. about, you know, worst case scenarios. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, let me be devil's advocate and you >> So, let me be devil's advocate and you >> So, let me be devil's advocate and you be you be you and you be you be you and you be you be you and you >> All right, let's do it. You call my You

5:13 >> All right, let's do it. You call my You >> All right, let's do it. You call my You call my BS. call my BS. call my BS. >> And by the way, we've both grown a lot >> And by the way, we've both grown a lot >> And by the way, we've both grown a lot between then and now. between then and now. between then and now. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But go for it. Let's go. >> But go for it. Let's go. >> But go for it. Let's go. >> So, I want to I'm going to put my my >> So, I want to I'm going to put my my >> So, I want to I'm going to put my my Pete headset hat on. Okay. Pete headset hat on. Okay.

5:25 Pete headset hat on. Okay. >> And say >> And say >> And say it's not DEI. It's why are we focused on it's not DEI. It's why are we focused on it's not DEI. It's why are we focused on the 1% when we need to focus on the war the 1% when we need to focus on the war the 1% when we need to focus on the war fighter? What am I missing with my peak fighter? What am I missing with my peak fighter? What am I missing with my peak pegs hat on? pegs hat on? pegs hat on? >> Okay. So, I'm going to tell you, I saw >> Okay. So, I'm going to tell you, I saw >> Okay. So, I'm going to tell you, I saw something recently that really inspired

5:44 something recently that really inspired something recently that really inspired me. Um, and then it caused me to dig me. Um, and then it caused me to dig me. Um, and then it caused me to dig deeper both together with a real human deeper both together with a real human deeper both together with a real human and into material and into material and into material uh that the that this person I'm going uh that the that this person I'm going uh that the that this person I'm going to reference actually um has done on the to reference actually um has done on the to reference actually um has done on the topic. topic. topic. Um, Um, Um, look, you and I have had a conversation

6:03 look, you and I have had a conversation look, you and I have had a conversation about the fact that we about the fact that we about the fact that we are in a fight for every single talented are in a fight for every single talented are in a fight for every single talented person who can bring what they have to person who can bring what they have to person who can bring what they have to bear on the defense of this bear on the defense of this bear on the defense of this constitution, this nation, the concept constitution, this nation, the concept constitution, this nation, the concept and the experiment that it is um, and and the experiment that it is um, and

6:23 and the experiment that it is um, and the citizens of it, right? the citizens of it, right? the citizens of it, right? And so Stan Mcrist's got a new book out, so Stan Mcrist's got a new book out, character. character. character. Um, a dear friend just presented me with Um, a dear friend just presented me with Um, a dear friend just presented me with a signed copy of that book. And that was a signed copy of that book. And that was a signed copy of that book. And that was a reconnection with a person that I a reconnection with a person that I a reconnection with a person that I hadn't talked to since hadn't talked to since hadn't talked to since I was a lieutenant colonel.

6:46 I was a lieutenant colonel. I was a lieutenant colonel. >> Uh, even a baby lieutenant colonel at >> Uh, even a baby lieutenant colonel at >> Uh, even a baby lieutenant colonel at that. But the point is, right, so what that. But the point is, right, so what that. But the point is, right, so what put me back together with this person is put me back together with this person is put me back together with this person is I see General Mcrist on one of the I see General Mcrist on one of the I see General Mcrist on one of the morning talk shows two Sundays ago and morning talk shows two Sundays ago and morning talk shows two Sundays ago and he gets pressed with a very similar

7:01 he gets pressed with a very similar he gets pressed with a very similar question and question and question and I think we're all in agreement violently I think we're all in agreement violently I think we're all in agreement violently is we need to be more lethal. The is we need to be more lethal. The is we need to be more lethal. The question is how? Everybody can have a question is how? Everybody can have a question is how? Everybody can have a different view and a different opinion different view and a different opinion different view and a different opinion on how um on how um on how um and the way General Mcristel laid out the the way General Mcristel laid out the argument. argument.

7:29 argument. It was really kind of based on his It was really kind of based on his It was really kind of based on his experiences, right? And you know, as a experiences, right? And you know, as a experiences, right? And you know, as a commander of very elite forces over a commander of very elite forces over a commander of very elite forces over a long period of time. long period of time. long period of time. >> And as you can imagine, he'd say like, >> And as you can imagine, he'd say like, >> And as you can imagine, he'd say like, "Listen, I don't I don't care about "Listen, I don't I don't care about "Listen, I don't I don't care about anything. I care about the outcome. anything. I care about the outcome.

7:43 anything. I care about the outcome. And in the end, And in the end, And in the end, the policies that are being pursued the policies that are being pursued the policies that are being pursued right now in eradicating DEI and all of right now in eradicating DEI and all of right now in eradicating DEI and all of the consequences that come with that, the consequences that come with that, the consequences that come with that, it's a distraction. it's a distraction. it's a distraction. And um And um And um he would even make the argument that, he would even make the argument that, he would even make the argument that, you know, if we're a full-on you know, if we're a full-on you know, if we're a full-on mobilization where we are in an mobilization where we are in an mobilization where we are in an existential crisis for the survival of existential crisis for the survival of

8:07 existential crisis for the survival of this nation, are you going to turn this nation, are you going to turn this nation, are you going to turn people away? Right. people away? Right. people away? Right. on the flip side of this, right? And on the flip side of this, right? And on the flip side of this, right? And this is logic that won't be heard. Um, this is logic that won't be heard. Um, this is logic that won't be heard. Um, and that is like and that is like and that is like folks who suffer from gender dysphoria, folks who suffer from gender dysphoria, folks who suffer from gender dysphoria, who've been treated, who've been treated, who've been treated, by the way, resources for treatment

8:29 by the way, resources for treatment by the way, resources for treatment within the military health system within the military health system within the military health system actually are much less in terms of actually are much less in terms of actually are much less in terms of dollars dollars dollars than people with erectile dysfunction. than people with erectile dysfunction. than people with erectile dysfunction. Backed Backed Backed So So So when you have this history of when you have this history of when you have this history of performance performance performance and you have this exceedingly high need and you have this exceedingly high need

8:52 and you have this exceedingly high need for talent, now you're going to throw for talent, now you're going to throw for talent, now you're going to throw out your senior field grade officers, out your senior field grade officers, out your senior field grade officers, your senior non-commission officers, your senior non-commission officers, your senior non-commission officers, folks that are your performers that folks that are your performers that folks that are your performers that you're going to need in this crisis you're going to need in this crisis you're going to need in this crisis moment that we're all anticipating. And moment that we're all anticipating. And

9:04 moment that we're all anticipating. And then like I don't think you and I would then like I don't think you and I would then like I don't think you and I would have predicted, you know, we're on the have predicted, you know, we're on the have predicted, you know, we're on the cusp of seeing like B2 bombers drop cusp of seeing like B2 bombers drop cusp of seeing like B2 bombers drop 30,000 lb bombs on, you know, Iran. So, 30,000 lb bombs on, you know, Iran. So, 30,000 lb bombs on, you know, Iran. So, um, but you know what? Pete Hagstath is um, but you know what? Pete Hagstath is um, but you know what? Pete Hagstath is an appointee of Donald Trump and an appointee of Donald Trump and

9:24 an appointee of Donald Trump and the right was extraordinary the right was extraordinary the right was extraordinary in how well in how well in how well they were able to capitalize on some of they were able to capitalize on some of they were able to capitalize on some of these culture war issues. And you know, these culture war issues. And you know, these culture war issues. And you know, when you go back and you look at some of when you go back and you look at some of when you go back and you look at some of these like campaign commercials, these like campaign commercials, these like campaign commercials, I'm for you, she's for they them, I'm for you, she's for they them, I'm for you, she's for they them, >> this is this is this is going to be like >> this is this is this is going to be like >> this is this is this is going to be like that, you know, Reagan Carter like

9:51 that, you know, Reagan Carter like that, you know, Reagan Carter like political commercial moment. Um, political commercial moment. Um, political commercial moment. Um, >> my concern hit me. >> my concern hit me. >> my concern hit me. >> Not not with you. My concern with this >> Not not with you. My concern with this >> Not not with you. My concern with this this whole mental health card of well this whole mental health card of well this whole mental health card of well people with gender dysphoria they have a people with gender dysphoria they have a people with gender dysphoria they have a mental health condition so they are

10:06 mental health condition so they are mental health condition so they are unfit to serve in the military. unfit to serve in the military. unfit to serve in the military. I'm like I'm on anxiety medication. I I I'm like I'm on anxiety medication. I I I'm like I'm on anxiety medication. I I I know so many people that have mental I know so many people that have mental I know so many people that have mental health, you know, air quote issues. That health, you know, air quote issues. That health, you know, air quote issues. That is such a copout. is such a copout. is such a copout. >> It is. Well, let's let's do this. Why >> It is. Well, let's let's do this. Why

10:24 >> It is. Well, let's let's do this. Why don't we ask the medical professionals don't we ask the medical professionals don't we ask the medical professionals >> to weigh in on this? the American >> to weigh in on this? the American >> to weigh in on this? the American Medical Association, American Medical Association, American Medical Association, American Psychological Association, the American Psychological Association, the American Psychological Association, the American Association of Pediatricians, Association of Pediatricians, Association of Pediatricians, and on and on and on. And the medical and on and on and on. And the medical and on and on and on. And the medical community, you can't tell me that the community, you can't tell me that the community, you can't tell me that the entirety of the medical community in the

10:43 entirety of the medical community in the entirety of the medical community in the world, even global components of it, world, even global components of it, world, even global components of it, believes that believes that believes that this is a condition that is strictly in this is a condition that is strictly in this is a condition that is strictly in so it's not. I mean, I have to tell you, so it's not. I mean, I have to tell you, so it's not. I mean, I have to tell you, like when you talk to folks that are in like when you talk to folks that are in like when you talk to folks that are in the behavioral health community um you the behavioral health community um you

11:00 the behavioral health community um you know, there's a manual that that guides know, there's a manual that that guides know, there's a manual that that guides it's it's the um the DSM. I can't it's it's the um the DSM. I can't it's it's the um the DSM. I can't remember what the acronym means, but remember what the acronym means, but remember what the acronym means, but that was updated. Gender identity was a that was updated. Gender identity was a that was updated. Gender identity was a disorder. It used to be gender identity disorder. It used to be gender identity disorder. It used to be gender identity disorder. And in fact, that still codes disorder. And in fact, that still codes

11:15 disorder. And in fact, that still codes shows up in billing codes. shows up in billing codes. shows up in billing codes. >> Um but it's not a disorder. It's >> Um but it's not a disorder. It's >> Um but it's not a disorder. It's distress caused by a lack of alignment distress caused by a lack of alignment distress caused by a lack of alignment between who you know you are. between who you know you are. between who you know you are. >> Forgive me, I'm like tapping the mic. >> Forgive me, I'm like tapping the mic. >> Forgive me, I'm like tapping the mic. It's it's it's it's um jerry dysphoria It's it's it's it's um jerry dysphoria It's it's it's it's um jerry dysphoria is about that lack of alignment between is about that lack of alignment between is about that lack of alignment between what you know in your head and your

11:35 what you know in your head and your what you know in your head and your heart. heart. heart. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And how the world interacts with you and >> And how the world interacts with you and >> And how the world interacts with you and how you move through it. And some levels how you move through it. And some levels how you move through it. And some levels of that distress need to be managed. And of that distress need to be managed. And of that distress need to be managed. And there are proven medical interventions there are proven medical interventions there are proven medical interventions that work. Um, and unfortunately with

11:49 that work. Um, and unfortunately with that work. Um, and unfortunately with the Supreme Court decision that got the Supreme Court decision that got the Supreme Court decision that got handed down earlier this week, you've handed down earlier this week, you've handed down earlier this week, you've got youth not only in Tennessee, but in got youth not only in Tennessee, but in got youth not only in Tennessee, but in 27 other states who have their

12:00 Choosing EOD — The Most Dangerous Room in the Army

12:01 27 other states who have their 27 other states who have their lifechanging care and in some cases lifechanging care and in some cases lifechanging care and in some cases life-saving care completely at risk of life-saving care completely at risk of life-saving care completely at risk of being eradicated by runaway legislators. I'm so concerned about the education I'm so concerned about the education process because in our in our previous process because in our in our previous process because in our in our previous conversation six months ago like hey you conversation six months ago like hey you conversation six months ago like hey you know tell Captain Mike Kamores you know

12:26 know tell Captain Mike Kamores you know know tell Captain Mike Kamores you know in 2008 in 2008 in 2008 >> yes >> yes >> yes >> what he was missing >> what he was missing >> what he was missing >> and you know that homophobic mindset >> and you know that homophobic mindset >> and you know that homophobic mindset that that fear. that that fear. that that fear. >> How do we ease these fears? How do we >> How do we ease these fears? How do we >> How do we ease these fears? How do we educate boats on these fears to realize educate boats on these fears to realize educate boats on these fears to realize >> you know we could all be war fighters.

12:43 >> you know we could all be war fighters. >> you know we could all be war fighters. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, um, >> Yeah. Yeah. So, um, >> Yeah. Yeah. So, um, array of sunshine in all of this, array of sunshine in all of this, array of sunshine in all of this, I mean, just because just to be clear, I mean, just because just to be clear, I mean, just because just to be clear, right, we did that first recording right, we did that first recording right, we did that first recording before the presidential election. before the presidential election. before the presidential election. That put President Trump back in the That put President Trump back in the That put President Trump back in the White House and put him in control of White House and put him in control of White House and put him in control of the policy, not the law. There's no law,

13:05 the policy, not the law. There's no law, the policy, not the law. There's no law, as we've established, that protects as we've established, that protects as we've established, that protects transgender military service. transgender military service. transgender military service. He established a policy that makes He established a policy that makes He established a policy that makes service by those of us that are service by those of us that are service by those of us that are diagnosed with general dysphoria, diagnosed with general dysphoria, diagnosed with general dysphoria, regardless of how well it's managed regardless of how well it's managed

13:21 regardless of how well it's managed and how well we actually objectively and how well we actually objectively and how well we actually objectively perform. perform. perform. Um, it just makes a diagnosis of gender Um, it just makes a diagnosis of gender Um, it just makes a diagnosis of gender dysphoria incompatible with military dysphoria incompatible with military dysphoria incompatible with military service with the stroke of a pen. service with the stroke of a pen. service with the stroke of a pen. Um, but the ray of sunshine though, Um, but the ray of sunshine though, Um, but the ray of sunshine though, despite the chain of events that's that

13:41 despite the chain of events that's that despite the chain of events that's that that's uh set off to include that's uh set off to include that's uh set off to include on D-Day this year at the beginning of on D-Day this year at the beginning of on D-Day this year at the beginning of Pride Month, June 6th, the deadline Pride Month, June 6th, the deadline Pride Month, June 6th, the deadline for trans service members to select and for trans service members to select and for trans service members to select and choose to voluntarily separate. Right? I choose to voluntarily separate. Right? I choose to voluntarily separate. Right? I mean, these are this is how far since we

14:03 mean, these are this is how far since we mean, these are this is how far since we last sat and had a conversation on these last sat and had a conversation on these last sat and had a conversation on these issues, things have come. Um, but the issues, things have come. Um, but the issues, things have come. Um, but the ray of sunshine in this is the state of ray of sunshine in this is the state of ray of sunshine in this is the state of Delaware elected the first openly Delaware elected the first openly Delaware elected the first openly transgender transgender transgender person to the United States Congress and person to the United States Congress and person to the United States Congress and their statewide

14:20 their statewide their statewide representative is Sarah McBride. representative is Sarah McBride. representative is Sarah McBride. Um she recently did a really Um she recently did a really Um she recently did a really wide-ranging um and rather lengthy wide-ranging um and rather lengthy wide-ranging um and rather lengthy interview with Ezra Klein of the New interview with Ezra Klein of the New interview with Ezra Klein of the New York Times. Um, and you know, I think it York Times. Um, and you know, I think it York Times. Um, and you know, I think it really gets to the fact, and this is really gets to the fact, and this is really gets to the fact, and this is another part of like the intersection

14:40 another part of like the intersection another part of like the intersection with General Mcrist's recent comments, with General Mcrist's recent comments, with General Mcrist's recent comments, like in his book, he talks about in this like in his book, he talks about in this like in his book, he talks about in this chapter them in air quotes and and it chapter them in air quotes and and it chapter them in air quotes and and it and it really is around the theme of and it really is around the theme of and it really is around the theme of othering othering othering the things and the people you fear. And the things and the people you fear. And the things and the people you fear. And so I had a chance to speak um last

15:00 so I had a chance to speak um last so I had a chance to speak um last Saturday and this is one of the things Saturday and this is one of the things Saturday and this is one of the things that I chose to speak about and we have that I chose to speak about and we have that I chose to speak about and we have to end the othering. It's it's very much to end the othering. It's it's very much to end the othering. It's it's very much like what you're some of what you're like what you're some of what you're like what you're some of what you're doing here. Let's inspire people to doing here. Let's inspire people to doing here. Let's inspire people to serve. Let's share stories of people who

15:17 serve. Let's share stories of people who serve. Let's share stories of people who may be very relatable to the young may be very relatable to the young may be very relatable to the young people who are out there thinking about people who are out there thinking about people who are out there thinking about putting the uniform on like you and I putting the uniform on like you and I putting the uniform on like you and I and others did when we were very young. and others did when we were very young. and others did when we were very young. I think the same applies in the case of transgender people in this country and transgender people in this country and the debate over

15:40 the debate over the debate over their existence, their rights. Um, their existence, their rights. Um, their existence, their rights. Um, 70% I might have even referenced 70% I might have even referenced 70% I might have even referenced something like this last time we talked something like this last time we talked something like this last time we talked in the range of 70% of Americans in the range of 70% of Americans in the range of 70% of Americans don't know a transgender person. In don't know a transgender person. In don't know a transgender person. In fact, I was with lunch with somebody fact, I was with lunch with somebody fact, I was with lunch with somebody today who has been in this fight for today who has been in this fight for today who has been in this fight for equality going back decades and actually equality going back decades and actually

16:04 equality going back decades and actually surfaced some statistics from the 80s in surfaced some statistics from the 80s in surfaced some statistics from the 80s in the discussion of the discussion of the discussion of gay and lesbian marriage that context gay and lesbian marriage that context gay and lesbian marriage that context and when they were thinking about trying and when they were thinking about trying and when they were thinking about trying to move through that equality fight to move through that equality fight to move through that equality fight right like at that point very similar right like at that point very similar right like at that point very similar ratios you know so there are 30% of

16:23 ratios you know so there are 30% of ratios you know so there are 30% of people in America that know a trans people in America that know a trans people in America that know a trans person, we got to move that needle person, we got to move that needle person, we got to move that needle because it's we're we're on such a because it's we're we're on such a because it's we're we're on such a distance from real human beings. And I distance from real human beings. And I distance from real human beings. And I think, and this is what I spoke to over think, and this is what I spoke to over think, and this is what I spoke to over the weekend, is a solution is

16:45 for people for people to begin to begin to begin connecting those doing the othering with connecting those doing the othering with connecting those doing the othering with those being otherred. those being otherred. those being otherred. Bring them together. Find those common Bring them together. Find those common Bring them together. Find those common common similarities. common similarities. common similarities. >> Just be one another. >> Just be one another. >> Just be one another. Be open enough just to be in the Be open enough just to be in the Be open enough just to be in the presence of that person physically, presence of that person physically,

17:04 presence of that person physically, virtually, otherwise. Engage in a virtually, otherwise. Engage in a virtually, otherwise. Engage in a conversation. Does it have to be harmonious? Does it have to be harmonious? Right now, there's so many people Right now, there's so many people Right now, there's so many people pushing, pushing, pushing, let's go to a war with Iran. Let's let's let's go to a war with Iran. Let's let's let's go to a war with Iran. Let's let's let's do all these things in Israel and let's do all these things in Israel and let's do all these things in Israel and the Red Sea and all this stuff. And I the Red Sea and all this stuff. And I the Red Sea and all this stuff. And I just just

17:24 just I think to myself, first of all, I I I think to myself, first of all, I I I think to myself, first of all, I I don't want to go to war, and I I don't don't want to go to war, and I I don't don't want to go to war, and I I don't think most of us do. But if we are, then think most of us do. But if we are, then think most of us do. But if we are, then we need all hands on deck. It's it's not we need all hands on deck. It's it's not we need all hands on deck. It's it's not just just just ah it's it's frustrating. So, here's my ah it's it's frustrating. So, here's my ah it's it's frustrating. So, here's my next question. So, let's let's say um I next question. So, let's let's say um I

17:43 next question. So, let's let's say um I have a 18-year-old daughter. Yeah. have a 18-year-old daughter. Yeah. have a 18-year-old daughter. Yeah. >> And she's going to join the Navy and >> And she's going to join the Navy and >> And she's going to join the Navy and she's going to be on an aircraft she's going to be on an aircraft she's going to be on an aircraft carrier. carrier. carrier. How do I How do I How do I How do you comfort me as a father who's How do you comfort me as a father who's How do you comfort me as a father who's thinking, "Oh my gosh, there could be a thinking, "Oh my gosh, there could be a thinking, "Oh my gosh, there could be a trans person in the bathroom and I don't

18:00 trans person in the bathroom and I don't trans person in the bathroom and I don't want my 18-year-old want my 18-year-old want my 18-year-old daughter to deal with. I don't know." daughter to deal with. I don't know." daughter to deal with. I don't know." >> Yeah. Aircraft carriers. >> Yeah. Aircraft carriers. >> Yeah. Aircraft carriers. >> Why don't you ask your 18-year-old >> Why don't you ask your 18-year-old >> Why don't you ask your 18-year-old daughter how she feels about it? Does daughter how she feels about it? Does daughter how she feels about it? Does that tell you the preponderance of that tell you the preponderance of

18:10 that tell you the preponderance of generation alpha generation alpha generation alpha >> doesn't care? >> doesn't care? >> doesn't care? And when you look at the percentage of And when you look at the percentage of And when you look at the percentage of people in that age range that the people in that age range that the people in that age range that the preponderance of the recruits come from preponderance of the recruits come from preponderance of the recruits come from 17 to 25 year olds in this country who 17 to 25 year olds in this country who 17 to 25 year olds in this country who are qualified, are qualified, are qualified, they don't care that more of them

18:31 they don't care that more of them they don't care that more of them identify as queer, some letter under the identify as queer, some letter under the identify as queer, some letter under the rainbow flag rainbow flag rainbow flag >> than any earlier generations in this >> than any earlier generations in this >> than any earlier generations in this country have. This is more normal for them than it's This is more normal for them than it's unusual for the people who are in unusual for the people who are in unusual for the people who are in leadership positions that are trying to leadership positions that are trying to leadership positions that are trying to grapple with it. But some of these folks grapple with it. But some of these folks grapple with it. But some of these folks are politicians. Politics about power

18:55 are politicians. Politics about power are politicians. Politics about power and if you put in power, you got to play and if you put in power, you got to play and if you put in power, you got to play to the people and that's what's going to the people and that's what's going to the people and that's what's going on. on. on. Well, I'm glad you brought up politics Well, I'm glad you brought up politics Well, I'm glad you brought up politics from that perspective because of your from that perspective because of your from that perspective because of your political background in, you know, political background in, you know, political background in, you know, legislative affairs.

19:09 legislative affairs. legislative affairs. How do we get more people educated on How do we get more people educated on How do we get more people educated on the hill the hill the hill for your message? for your message? for your message? >> I don't think that's where it has to >> I don't think that's where it has to >> I don't think that's where it has to happen. I think it has to happen with happen. I think it has to happen with happen. I think it has to happen with the American people. I think I think I the American people. I think I think I the American people. I think I think I think the effort really needs to be um think the effort really needs to be um think the effort really needs to be um in turning the tide of public opinion. in turning the tide of public opinion. in turning the tide of public opinion. And that is a very different effort than

19:29 And that is a very different effort than And that is a very different effort than the kind of work that you and I grew up the kind of work that you and I grew up the kind of work that you and I grew up doing because in in those legislative doing because in in those legislative doing because in in those legislative affairs roles we are serving an affairs roles we are serving an affairs roles we are serving an institution as leaders to deliver like institution as leaders to deliver like institution as leaders to deliver like specific and discreet results. Um specific and discreet results. Um specific and discreet results. Um I think I think I think public opinion

19:49 public opinion public opinion it's a campaign. It is a broad campaign it's a campaign. It is a broad campaign it's a campaign. It is a broad campaign and it is going to involve Not just trans folks like in every walk Not just trans folks like in every walk of life, but not every trans person is of life, but not every trans person is of life, but not every trans person is going to be ready to do this work. Some going to be ready to do this work. Some going to be ready to do this work. Some of them, some of us, you're just one of of them, some of us, you're just one of of them, some of us, you're just one of the wins. the wins. the wins. >> But some of us also have to show the

20:10 >> But some of us also have to show the >> But some of us also have to show the courage if we have it within us to step courage if we have it within us to step courage if we have it within us to step forward in this moment and become a face forward in this moment and become a face forward in this moment and become a face because it's going to take time. because it's going to take time. because it's going to take time. Nobody deserves to wait Nobody deserves to wait Nobody deserves to wait um for the dignity um for the dignity um for the dignity that should come with simply being a that should come with simply being a that should come with simply being a human in this life.

20:37 But with where things are and what I But with where things are and what I think needs to happen, specifics, you think needs to happen, specifics, you think needs to happen, specifics, you know what that I got to still figure know what that I got to still figure know what that I got to still figure out. And this is why part of my out. And this is why part of my out. And this is why part of my exploration right now is talking with exploration right now is talking with exploration right now is talking with people who have some experiences from people who have some experiences from people who have some experiences from the past that we can bring forward to

20:52 the past that we can bring forward to the past that we can bring forward to think about, okay, who is it we need? think about, okay, who is it we need? think about, okay, who is it we need? How do we need to approach this? What's How do we need to approach this? What's How do we need to approach this? What's changed? changed? changed? How do we just turn the tide on how How do we just turn the tide on how How do we just turn the tide on how people feel about others and namely

21:00 Gender Dysphoria in a Hyper-Masculine Environment

21:06 people feel about others and namely people feel about others and namely others like me and my siblings? others like me and my siblings? others like me and my siblings? Are you concerned about your personal Are you concerned about your personal Are you concerned about your personal safety every single day? safety every single day? safety every single day? Have the have the threats increased? Has Have the have the threats increased? Has Have the have the threats increased? Has has the harassment increased? has the harassment increased? has the harassment increased? Um, so I'm just on the cusp of becoming Um, so I'm just on the cusp of becoming Um, so I'm just on the cusp of becoming more public, right? Like you and I, I more public, right? Like you and I, I more public, right? Like you and I, I mean, we can drift in conversations mean, we can drift in conversations

21:28 mean, we can drift in conversations about politics now. about politics now. about politics now. >> Yeah. It took a long time uniform, you >> Yeah. It took a long time uniform, you >> Yeah. It took a long time uniform, you know, you live smartly and Yes. know, you live smartly and Yes. know, you live smartly and Yes. >> and support your leaders. >> and support your leaders. >> and support your leaders. >> Yes. So, but I anticipate that um as I >> Yes. So, but I anticipate that um as I >> Yes. So, but I anticipate that um as I personally grow my um profile and speak personally grow my um profile and speak personally grow my um profile and speak out more um if that's the direction I

21:48 out more um if that's the direction I out more um if that's the direction I continue to head, I've had to think very continue to head, I've had to think very continue to head, I've had to think very deliberately about am I am I prepared to contend with what I know others have had contend with what I know others have had to deal with. Um, but even beyond that, to deal with. Um, but even beyond that, to deal with. Um, but even beyond that, right, like I think I mean I'll tell you right, like I think I mean I'll tell you right, like I think I mean I'll tell you Mike, like I got asked to go to a Mike, like I got asked to go to a Mike, like I got asked to go to a friend's promotion ceremony um down in a

22:11 friend's promotion ceremony um down in a friend's promotion ceremony um down in a little town Burlington north of Raleigh, little town Burlington north of Raleigh, little town Burlington north of Raleigh, North Carolina. You know the terrain, North Carolina. You know the terrain, North Carolina. You know the terrain, you know the geography. you know the geography. you know the geography. But I drove it and I did it like kind of But I drove it and I did it like kind of But I drove it and I did it like kind of on like 12 hours notice. Mhm. on like 12 hours notice. Mhm. on like 12 hours notice. Mhm. >> And the reason why that promotion >> And the reason why that promotion

22:29 >> And the reason why that promotion ceremony was there is because this ceremony was there is because this ceremony was there is because this non-commission officer um wanted her non-commission officer um wanted her non-commission officer um wanted her grandmother to be a part of it. And the grandmother to be a part of it. And the grandmother to be a part of it. And the only way that could happen is if she only way that could happen is if she only way that could happen is if she took the ceremony to her grandmother at took the ceremony to her grandmother at took the ceremony to her grandmother at the Southern the Black Southern Baptist the Southern the Black Southern Baptist

22:41 the Southern the Black Southern Baptist Church that this friend of mine was Church that this friend of mine was Church that this friend of mine was raised in and that her grandmother was raised in and that her grandmother was raised in and that her grandmother was part of raising her. So, you know, I part of raising her. So, you know, I part of raising her. So, you know, I mean, like when you one of your folks mean, like when you one of your folks mean, like when you one of your folks says, "Hey, I I need you there." Okay, says, "Hey, I I need you there." Okay, says, "Hey, I I need you there." Okay, I'll get there. How how are you I'll get there. How how are you

22:57 I'll get there. How how are you received? received? received? >> Different. >> Different. >> Different. >> I mean, and part of this is right like >> I mean, and part of this is right like >> I mean, and part of this is right like part of why you saw me the way you saw part of why you saw me the way you saw part of why you saw me the way you saw me when we first sat down to have a me when we first sat down to have a me when we first sat down to have a conversation. There was another surgery conversation. There was another surgery conversation. There was another surgery after that. And the focus for me, the after that. And the focus for me, the after that. And the focus for me, the focus for me has been around being able to do the things medically being able to do the things medically and surgically and surgically

23:23 and surgically that are going to put me in a position that are going to put me in a position that are going to put me in a position to be presumed by others that I am a to be presumed by others that I am a to be presumed by others that I am a woman. I am unquestionably, but I don't woman. I am unquestionably, but I don't woman. I am unquestionably, but I don't want there to be any question. Like I'm want there to be any question. Like I'm want there to be any question. Like I'm very privileged in that sense. But it very privileged in that sense. But it very privileged in that sense. But it also came at a great personal toll. also came at a great personal toll.

23:43 also came at a great personal toll. Three O sessions last year in 12 months. Three O sessions last year in 12 months. Three O sessions last year in 12 months. 13 procedures 13 procedures 13 procedures in those three O sessions. The longest in those three O sessions. The longest in those three O sessions. The longest was 10 hours on the table. was 10 hours on the table. was 10 hours on the table. >> Oh my god. 10 hours. >> Oh my god. 10 hours. >> Oh my god. 10 hours. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And and this is for me to get to a place And and this is for me to get to a place And and this is for me to get to a place where I can accomplish a couple things.

24:03 where I can accomplish a couple things. where I can accomplish a couple things. many things, but one of those things is many things, but one of those things is many things, but one of those things is to wake up and love the person I see in to wake up and love the person I see in to wake up and love the person I see in the mirror every morning. the mirror every morning. the mirror every morning. Another is for my own personal Another is for my own personal Another is for my own personal well-being and safety. So, you know, I'm well-being and safety. So, you know, I'm well-being and safety. So, you know, I'm on the stretch of road between on the stretch of road between

24:15 on the stretch of road between Petersburg and Durham. It's I 85 and Petersburg and Durham. It's I 85 and Petersburg and Durham. It's I 85 and that since this change since this change both in administration and attitude both in administration and attitude both in administration and attitude towards others, I'm going to tell you, I was scared to I'm going to tell you, I was scared to be on that stretch of road between be on that stretch of road between be on that stretch of road between Petersburg and Durham because I've been Petersburg and Durham because I've been Petersburg and Durham because I've been on roads adjacent to I85 on roads adjacent to I85 on roads adjacent to I85 where you see displays that honor the where you see displays that honor the where you see displays that honor the Confederacy Confederacy Confederacy like it still exists today. Here's a lot

24:49 like it still exists today. Here's a lot like it still exists today. Here's a lot of Confederate flagies in Orville. Yeah. of Confederate flagies in Orville. Yeah. of Confederate flagies in Orville. Yeah. Um and so I was scared and I got pulled Um and so I was scared and I got pulled Um and so I was scared and I got pulled over and thank goodness for it because over and thank goodness for it because over and thank goodness for it because that deputy sheriff that deputy sheriff that deputy sheriff helped me get control of my anxiety helped me get control of my anxiety helped me get control of my anxiety about being by myself about being by myself about being by myself in

25:10 in in the rural South as an openly transgender the rural South as an openly transgender the rural South as an openly transgender person. I took a friend with me when I went to I took a friend with me when I went to the the court hearing for the speeding the the court hearing for the speeding the the court hearing for the speeding ticket last month ticket last month ticket last month because I wasn't sure that I would even because I wasn't sure that I would even because I wasn't sure that I would even make it out the courthouse, which was make it out the courthouse, which was make it out the courthouse, which was crazy to think. But this is the kind of crazy to think. But this is the kind of

25:32 crazy to think. But this is the kind of thinking that thinking that thinking that not just me, but other trans people are not just me, but other trans people are not just me, but other trans people are feeling just about walking out the door feeling just about walking out the door feeling just about walking out the door of their home. Now, what do people know? What do people what what do people know? What do people what what can people discover? How do I guard what can people discover? How do I guard what can people discover? How do I guard myself from being discovered? myself from being discovered? myself from being discovered? Identity documents. Thank goodness when

25:53 Identity documents. Thank goodness when Identity documents. Thank goodness when that guy walked up, I had a driver's that guy walked up, I had a driver's that guy walked up, I had a driver's license that had my license that had my license that had my legal name, my proper gender, and I had legal name, my proper gender, and I had legal name, my proper gender, and I had a registration that matched a registration that matched a registration that matched cuz who knows what kinds of cuz who knows what kinds of cuz who knows what kinds of trouble that would have caused, you trouble that would have caused, you trouble that would have caused, you know, but that I, you know, I'm

26:12 know, but that I, you know, I'm know, but that I, you know, I'm privileged in that sense, but I'm a privileged in that sense, but I'm a privileged in that sense, but I'm a privileged member of a marginalized privileged member of a marginalized privileged member of a marginalized community under attack. What? like how community under attack. What? like how community under attack. What? like how those words all make sense in a sentence those words all make sense in a sentence those words all make sense in a sentence should never be this way for anybody. should never be this way for anybody. should never be this way for anybody. Can you can you talk about what your

26:28 Can you can you talk about what your Can you can you talk about what your next job is that you shared with me a next job is that you shared with me a next job is that you shared with me a few days ago? few days ago? few days ago? >> So, um I've got a few things going on. >> So, um I've got a few things going on. >> So, um I've got a few things going on. Um I am thinking about next steps. You know, I thinking about next steps. You know, I because because let me give you the because because let me give you the because because let me give you the rundown. I just had a great lunch um rundown. I just had a great lunch um rundown. I just had a great lunch um today with some folks that have been in today with some folks that have been in today with some folks that have been in the advocacy space at senior leadership the advocacy space at senior leadership

26:53 the advocacy space at senior leadership levels mainly and strict almost strictly levels mainly and strict almost strictly levels mainly and strict almost strictly in the equality areas. Um you know and in the equality areas. Um you know and in the equality areas. Um you know and working for the LGBTQ community. Um so they asked me they're like well tell so they asked me they're like well tell us about yourself. Well, okay. Let me us about yourself. Well, okay. Let me us about yourself. Well, okay. Let me let me tell you before I answer your let me tell you before I answer your let me tell you before I answer your question, right? Because because the

27:12 question, right? Because because the question, right? Because because the setup will help all of that make sense. setup will help all of that make sense. setup will help all of that make sense. I said, you know, I was in the military I said, you know, I was in the military I said, you know, I was in the military for 33 years. for 33 years. for 33 years. This human, if that is in your presence This human, if that is in your presence This human, if that is in your presence right now, has only existed in this right now, has only existed in this right now, has only existed in this forum openly in the world for 18 months. forum openly in the world for 18 months.

27:30 forum openly in the world for 18 months. I've been retired for 51 days. I've been I've been retired for 51 days. I've been I've been retired for 51 days. I've been divorced for 17. divorced for 17. divorced for 17. No, look at your eyes. No, look at your eyes. No, look at your eyes. I was going to ask about your kids, I was going to ask about your kids, I was going to ask about your kids, Neds. Neds. Neds. >> Their jaws dropped. Um, and we could do >> Their jaws dropped. Um, and we could do >> Their jaws dropped. Um, and we could do that. Yeah, I actually saw them um from that. Yeah, I actually saw them um from that. Yeah, I actually saw them um from a distance for the first time in a year,

27:49 a distance for the first time in a year, a distance for the first time in a year, but I'll tell that story in a second. but I'll tell that story in a second. but I'll tell that story in a second. Um, so Um, so Um, so like you when you've spent so much time like you when you've spent so much time like you when you've spent so much time doing a thing, then all of a sudden you doing a thing, then all of a sudden you doing a thing, then all of a sudden you are thrust out the gate into this. And are thrust out the gate into this. And are thrust out the gate into this. And this is this is one of my favorite this is this is one of my favorite this is this is one of my favorite poets, David White. But but in one of poets, David White. But but in one of poets, David White. But but in one of his poems, he talks about this vast his poems, he talks about this vast

28:12 his poems, he talks about this vast field of freedom. field of freedom. field of freedom. Where do you go? What direction do you Where do you go? What direction do you Where do you go? What direction do you head? When do you move? At what pace? head? When do you move? At what pace? head? When do you move? At what pace? We've had a lot of those decisions made We've had a lot of those decisions made We've had a lot of those decisions made for us over a long period of time. And for us over a long period of time. And for us over a long period of time. And now we make those choices. But with now we make those choices. But with now we make those choices. But with everything else going on, like I'm

28:27 everything else going on, like I'm everything else going on, like I'm taking a little rest, right? Um but I'm taking a little rest, right? Um but I'm taking a little rest, right? Um but I'm working on it. And I'm working to stay working on it. And I'm working to stay working on it. And I'm working to stay in a place where I'm exploring in a place where I'm exploring in a place where I'm exploring possibilities and not hunting possibilities and not hunting possibilities and not hunting down down down specific jobs yet. Um, but days like specific jobs yet. Um, but days like specific jobs yet. Um, but days like today help flip possibilities into real

28:47 today help flip possibilities into real today help flip possibilities into real opportunities. opportunities. opportunities. Um, so I'm kind of looking in a few Um, so I'm kind of looking in a few Um, so I'm kind of looking in a few spaces. One of them is to think about spaces. One of them is to think about spaces. One of them is to think about how I do this on my own. Do I get how I do this on my own. Do I get how I do this on my own. Do I get involved in the storytelling? Um because involved in the storytelling? Um because involved in the storytelling? Um because one of the things I journaled one of the things I journaled one of the things I journaled on Saturday morning was to say that I

29:03 on Saturday morning was to say that I on Saturday morning was to say that I think my purpose is think my purpose is think my purpose is to help create an environment in this to help create an environment in this to help create an environment in this country where country where country where trans people are seen as humans and the trans people are seen as humans and the trans people are seen as humans and the next generation that comes after me has next generation that comes after me has next generation that comes after me has a better chance than I had at their age a better chance than I had at their age a better chance than I had at their age of living

29:25 of living of living a joyfilled a joyfilled a joyfilled life of peace and contentment, right? I life of peace and contentment, right? I life of peace and contentment, right? I think that is a purpose of mine, but do think that is a purpose of mine, but do think that is a purpose of mine, but do I do that on my own or do I do that in I do that on my own or do I do that in I do that on my own or do I do that in the political domain? you know, so the political domain? you know, so the political domain? you know, so started to spend time volunteering started to spend time volunteering started to spend time volunteering on um on um on um probably one of the pivotal campaigns

29:49 probably one of the pivotal campaigns probably one of the pivotal campaigns and one of the only major campaigns and one of the only major campaigns and one of the only major campaigns that's going to happen between now and that's going to happen between now and that's going to happen between now and this November because we have a this November because we have a this November because we have a governor's race in Virginia and it's the governor's race in Virginia and it's the governor's race in Virginia and it's the only opportunity in the country to turn only opportunity in the country to turn only opportunity in the country to turn a governor's mansion from rent to play.

30:00 The Decision to Transition While on Active Duty

30:04 a governor's mansion from rent to play. a governor's mansion from rent to play. And so for me, like if I want to live in And so for me, like if I want to live in And so for me, like if I want to live in Virginia and I want to feel safe being Virginia and I want to feel safe being Virginia and I want to feel safe being here and I want people like me to feel here and I want people like me to feel here and I want people like me to feel safe being here, I've decided that the safe being here, I've decided that the safe being here, I've decided that the best way to do that best way to do that best way to do that is to give of myself, my energy, and my is to give of myself, my energy, and my

30:18 is to give of myself, my energy, and my time to that cause for this period. And time to that cause for this period. And time to that cause for this period. And what comes after that, I don't know. So what comes after that, I don't know. So what comes after that, I don't know. So I'm volunteering. I'm seeking I'm volunteering. I'm seeking I'm volunteering. I'm seeking professional opportunities with the professional opportunities with the professional opportunities with the campaign as well. And we'll see how that campaign as well. And we'll see how that campaign as well. And we'll see how that unfolds and how that develops. But I was unfolds and how that develops. But I was

30:33 unfolds and how that develops. But I was also selected between when we talked also selected between when we talked also selected between when we talked last and now through this competitive last and now through this competitive last and now through this competitive process by the LGBTQ process by the LGBTQ process by the LGBTQ Victory Institute to be trained as a Victory Institute to be trained as a Victory Institute to be trained as a potential candidate as a manager of potential candidate as a manager of potential candidate as a manager of campaigns campaigns campaigns and they're going to have an additional and they're going to have an additional and they're going to have an additional session which will convene its first

30:52 session which will convene its first session which will convene its first cohort of folks who identify as trans, cohort of folks who identify as trans, cohort of folks who identify as trans, non-binary or gender non-conforming. non-binary or gender non-conforming. non-binary or gender non-conforming. um which will be pretty groundbreaking um which will be pretty groundbreaking um which will be pretty groundbreaking and revolutionary. It all happens and revolutionary. It all happens and revolutionary. It all happens generally thinking about how we jump off generally thinking about how we jump off generally thinking about how we jump off for the midterm elections and when that

31:11 for the midterm elections and when that for the midterm elections and when that whole season picks up. But here in whole season picks up. But here in whole season picks up. But here in Virginia, the work's already underway. Virginia, the work's already underway. Virginia, the work's already underway. Um and I plan to be a part of it. But Um and I plan to be a part of it. But Um and I plan to be a part of it. But the nonprofit space is also a very the nonprofit space is also a very the nonprofit space is also a very important place where I want to um you important place where I want to um you important place where I want to um you know try to find a home maybe

31:24 know try to find a home maybe know try to find a home maybe professionally or if I have to I'll lean professionally or if I have to I'll lean professionally or if I have to I'll lean back on some of my other credentials you back on some of my other credentials you back on some of my other credentials you know things like you and I did on know things like you and I did on know things like you and I did on Capitol Hill or you know professional Capitol Hill or you know professional Capitol Hill or you know professional services but services but services but you know I think you know I think you know I think in making that purpose of mine come to in making that purpose of mine come to in making that purpose of mine come to life and begin to make an impact life and begin to make an impact life and begin to make an impact it's going to happen in those three

31:46 it's going to happen in those three it's going to happen in those three domains. the thing I do myself, things I domains. the thing I do myself, things I domains. the thing I do myself, things I do in politics do in politics do in politics for others or for or myself or the for others or for or myself or the for others or for or myself or the things that I can collaborate with folks things that I can collaborate with folks things that I can collaborate with folks that have been in this space on and that have been in this space on and that have been in this space on and learn from and enhance um you know their learn from and enhance um you know their

32:02 learn from and enhance um you know their efforts. So, I don't know if that was efforts. So, I don't know if that was efforts. So, I don't know if that was your question, but like your question, but like your question, but like >> I'm very interested in this upcoming >> I'm very interested in this upcoming >> I'm very interested in this upcoming election because I think it's a election because I think it's a election because I think it's a bellweather to see whether people really bellweather to see whether people really bellweather to see whether people really do care or if you know depending on do care or if you know depending on

32:17 do care or if you know depending on which is sourcy watch. Oh, they're just which is sourcy watch. Oh, they're just which is sourcy watch. Oh, they're just paid protesters and it's all paid protesters and it's all paid protesters and it's all >> I'm so sure it is >> I'm so sure it is >> I'm so sure it is >> because like your conversations here >> because like your conversations here >> because like your conversations here about service, right? and how I closed about service, right? and how I closed about service, right? and how I closed my remarks on Saturday and let's be my remarks on Saturday and let's be my remarks on Saturday and let's be clear. This is a no kings rally clear. This is a no kings rally clear. This is a no kings rally and I was asked to you know make some and I was asked to you know make some

32:37 and I was asked to you know make some remarks about my experience and my views remarks about my experience and my views remarks about my experience and my views on things and you know I think you I on things and you know I think you I on things and you know I think you I like as decadesl long veterans of uh like as decadesl long veterans of uh like as decadesl long veterans of uh military service I I think we have a military service I I think we have a military service I I think we have a legitimate claim to understanding what legitimate claim to understanding what legitimate claim to understanding what it takes um in order to make sure that what the constitution was meant to do is

33:03 what the constitution was meant to do is delivering for the people that it's delivering for the people that it's delivering for the people that it's intended to serve, intended to serve, intended to serve, >> right? Um and so coming from that place >> right? Um and so coming from that place >> right? Um and so coming from that place of legitimacy, of legitimacy, of legitimacy, it's absolutely legit and justified for it's absolutely legit and justified for it's absolutely legit and justified for people to demand better of their people to demand better of their people to demand better of their government. And that's what we saw this government. And that's what we saw this

33:21 government. And that's what we saw this outpouring of folks who want better than outpouring of folks who want better than outpouring of folks who want better than their government. But in this country, their government. But in this country, their government. But in this country, how we peacefully do that is through how we peacefully do that is through how we peacefully do that is through elections. And so here I completely elections. And so here I completely elections. And so here I completely agree with you. This is a this is a agree with you. This is a this is a agree with you. This is a this is a fascinating um place to to um be in this fascinating um place to to um be in this fascinating um place to to um be in this time time time as we move into as we move into as we move into the very beginnings of shaping what the the very beginnings of shaping what the

33:50 the very beginnings of shaping what the midterms will look like and whether or midterms will look like and whether or midterms will look like and whether or not not not you've got a House and a Senate that's you've got a House and a Senate that's you've got a House and a Senate that's controlled by the Republicans for controlled by the Republicans for controlled by the Republicans for another two years. Yeah, it's going to another two years. Yeah, it's going to another two years. Yeah, it's going to be be be >> it's a strange environment right now >> it's a strange environment right now >> it's a strange environment right now because the guest that was sitting in

34:02 because the guest that was sitting in because the guest that was sitting in the seat before you the seat before you the seat before you >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Um, as she was sharing some political >> Um, as she was sharing some political >> Um, as she was sharing some political bees before we started recording, bees before we started recording, bees before we started recording, >> she said, "Well, I appreciate you still >> she said, "Well, I appreciate you still >> she said, "Well, I appreciate you still being my friend because I know where you being my friend because I know where you being my friend because I know where you are politically." And I wanted to say,

34:16 are politically." And I wanted to say, are politically." And I wanted to say, "I have no political favoritism towards "I have no political favoritism towards "I have no political favoritism towards one or the other. I care about right and one or the other. I care about right and one or the other. I care about right and wrong. That's that's all I care about." wrong. That's that's all I care about." wrong. That's that's all I care about." >> Yes. And I said, "As a as a senior >> Yes. And I said, "As a as a senior >> Yes. And I said, "As a as a senior military leader, you can't walk around military leader, you can't walk around military leader, you can't walk around with a, you know, with a red or a blue

34:31 with a, you know, with a red or a blue with a, you know, with a red or a blue uh, you know, badge on your on your uh, you know, badge on your on your uh, you know, badge on your on your uniform. You you're there for the uniform. You you're there for the uniform. You you're there for the Constitution." So when people say, Constitution." So when people say, Constitution." So when people say, "Well, I know how you lean." I'm like, "Well, I know how you lean." I'm like, "Well, I know how you lean." I'm like, "You mean I lean towards the "You mean I lean towards the "You mean I lean towards the Constitution, what's right, because I Constitution, what's right, because I Constitution, what's right, because I don't care who's in office. I just care don't care who's in office. I just care don't care who's in office. I just care that we're doing the things that are

34:44 that we're doing the things that are that we're doing the things that are right." right." right." >> And and and people can have differences >> And and and people can have differences >> And and and people can have differences of opinion about what is or isn't right of opinion about what is or isn't right of opinion about what is or isn't right or or what is or isn't constitutional. or or what is or isn't constitutional. or or what is or isn't constitutional. That's the whole point of the Supreme That's the whole point of the Supreme That's the whole point of the Supreme Court. And we can be unhappy with the Court. And we can be unhappy with the Court. And we can be unhappy with the decisions that come out of places like

34:56 decisions that come out of places like decisions that come out of places like that. And it just it just proves that that. And it just it just proves that that. And it just it just proves that okay, like there's more work to do in in okay, like there's more work to do in in okay, like there's more work to do in in the in bending the ark of justice the in bending the ark of justice the in bending the ark of justice towards what the right thing is. It towards what the right thing is. It towards what the right thing is. It doesn't do it itself. I know Heather and doesn't do it itself. I know Heather and doesn't do it itself. I know Heather and I were just talking about it. I said,

35:11 I were just talking about it. I said, I were just talking about it. I said, "We have lots of family members that are "We have lots of family members that are "We have lots of family members that are on both sides, and I could care less. on both sides, and I could care less. on both sides, and I could care less. It's not my job to convince you. That's It's not my job to convince you. That's It's not my job to convince you. That's the whole point of our Constitution the whole point of our Constitution the whole point of our Constitution to vote and make a decision." Yeah. He's to vote and make a decision." Yeah. He's to vote and make a decision." Yeah. He's not gonna belittle you or you know

35:26 not gonna belittle you or you know not gonna belittle you or you know berate you over your vote. That's your berate you over your vote. That's your berate you over your vote. That's your >> Yeah. And and how informed or uninformed >> Yeah. And and how informed or uninformed >> Yeah. And and how informed or uninformed you are when you go in to the booth to, you are when you go in to the booth to, you are when you go in to the booth to, as they used to do, pull that lever. as they used to do, pull that lever. as they used to do, pull that lever. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Right. For the choices on the ballot >> Right. For the choices on the ballot

35:38 >> Right. For the choices on the ballot that you intend to make, that's on you, that you intend to make, that's on you, that you intend to make, that's on you, friend. That's on you. And those friend. That's on you. And those friend. That's on you. And those consequences consequences consequences unfold as they do. And and we're seeing unfold as they do. And and we're seeing unfold as they do. And and we're seeing that. I mean, like, we could get into a that. I mean, like, we could get into a that. I mean, like, we could get into a whole study of whole study of whole study of um um um how the executive branch is um flexing how the executive branch is um flexing

35:58 how the executive branch is um flexing its perceived powers as handed to it its perceived powers as handed to it its perceived powers as handed to it over time by the Congress. You know, I over time by the Congress. You know, I over time by the Congress. You know, I mean, the the imperial executive mean, the the imperial executive mean, the the imperial executive in the period of the modern presidency in the period of the modern presidency in the period of the modern presidency is a real thing, and we're watching it is a real thing, and we're watching it is a real thing, and we're watching it in action right now. Everybody's getting in action right now. Everybody's getting

36:17 in action right now. Everybody's getting a civics lesson. a civics lesson. a civics lesson. They are. And I feel like the previous They are. And I feel like the previous They are. And I feel like the previous administration went a little too far administration went a little too far administration went a little too far left and now this administration's going left and now this administration's going left and now this administration's going too far right. Are we just going to too far right. Are we just going to too far right. Are we just going to continue the pendulum going bigger and continue the pendulum going bigger and continue the pendulum going bigger and bigger and bigger away from center? Or

36:34 bigger and bigger away from center? Or bigger and bigger away from center? Or are we finally this next administration are we finally this next administration are we finally this next administration that comes to be is is one that's going that comes to be is is one that's going that comes to be is is one that's going to bring us back together? What do you to bring us back together? What do you to bring us back together? What do you think? I would love for it to be think? I would love for it to be think? I would love for it to be something that came back to the middle. something that came back to the middle. something that came back to the middle. I think it's going to take time for that

36:51 I think it's going to take time for that I think it's going to take time for that to come together. to come together. to come together. We are so polarized right now. And what We are so polarized right now. And what We are so polarized right now. And what are the things that have caused that? I are the things that have caused that? I are the things that have caused that? I mean, I've thought and reflected on some mean, I've thought and reflected on some mean, I've thought and reflected on some of this, especially over the last few of this, especially over the last few of this, especially over the last few weeks when, you know, it was formal and weeks when, you know, it was formal and weeks when, you know, it was formal and effective. I do not wear the uniform effective. I do not wear the uniform effective. I do not wear the uniform anymore. Um,

37:10 anymore. Um, anymore. Um, quite a while, right? First amendment. quite a while, right? First amendment. quite a while, right? First amendment. Okay. So then how far does the first Okay. So then how far does the first Okay. So then how far does the first amendment go? Well, if we say that the amendment go? Well, if we say that the amendment go? Well, if we say that the first amendment first amendment first amendment also should include how money is spent also should include how money is spent also should include how money is spent in in in politics in this country, politics in this country, politics in this country, well then you're going to get you're

37:30 well then you're going to get you're well then you're going to get you're going to continue to get outcomes like going to continue to get outcomes like going to continue to get outcomes like we get. You're going to have people we get. You're going to have people we get. You're going to have people like Elon Musk like Elon Musk like Elon Musk chasing chasing chasing Supreme Court seats that are up for Supreme Court seats that are up for Supreme Court seats that are up for election in Wisconsin uh in order to election in Wisconsin uh in order to election in Wisconsin uh in order to deliver political outcomes using deliver political outcomes using deliver political outcomes using dollars. Um, dollars. Um, dollars. Um, yeah. I it's it is yeah. I it's it is yeah. I it's it is I don't I don't I don't have any like I don't I don't I don't have any like

37:56 I don't I don't I don't have any like fully crystallized sort of theories or fully crystallized sort of theories or fully crystallized sort of theories or thoughts about how we get out of this thoughts about how we get out of this

38:00 Conversations With General Milley

38:02 thoughts about how we get out of this place that we're in. place that we're in. place that we're in. I just hope to goodness that what comes I just hope to goodness that what comes I just hope to goodness that what comes to unify us is not something to unify us is not something to unify us is not something catastrophic catastrophic catastrophic because the way the world is right now because the way the world is right now because the way the world is right now that could easily happen and we're that could easily happen and we're that could easily happen and we're better than that. That's why I was so better than that. That's why I was so better than that. That's why I was so happy to hear that you're going to be

38:21 happy to hear that you're going to be happy to hear that you're going to be part of this campaign in a volunteer part of this campaign in a volunteer part of this campaign in a volunteer basis because you're just you're so good basis because you're just you're so good basis because you're just you're so good at it. You're such a good spokesperson. at it. You're such a good spokesperson. at it. You're such a good spokesperson. You know, you're well spoken. You're You know, you're well spoken. You're You know, you're well spoken. You're well written. I I think your skill set well written. I I think your skill set well written. I I think your skill set and that's not for me to decide. That's

38:32 and that's not for me to decide. That's and that's not for me to decide. That's for you to decide. But I just think that for you to decide. But I just think that for you to decide. But I just think that you're such a good advocate for whatever you're such a good advocate for whatever you're such a good advocate for whatever you choose to represent. And so I you choose to represent. And so I you choose to represent. And so I appreciate that. appreciate that. appreciate that. >> I was a little sad when you're like, I >> I was a little sad when you're like, I >> I was a little sad when you're like, I don't know if I want to go work on

38:42 don't know if I want to go work on don't know if I want to go work on Capitol Hill. I was like, oh, you're so Capitol Hill. I was like, oh, you're so Capitol Hill. I was like, oh, you're so good at it. good at it. good at it. >> Yeah. But I mean, it's really about the >> Yeah. But I mean, it's really about the >> Yeah. But I mean, it's really about the environment, right? And so where is environment, right? And so where is environment, right? And so where is where's the change made? Yes, there is where's the change made? Yes, there is where's the change made? Yes, there is change made in changing laws. We're change made in changing laws. We're change made in changing laws. We're keeping bad laws from being enacted. keeping bad laws from being enacted. keeping bad laws from being enacted. >> No question about it. But where else is

39:00 >> No question about it. But where else is >> No question about it. But where else is there change made? Change is also made there change made? Change is also made there change made? Change is also made when voters use their ownership in the when voters use their ownership in the when voters use their ownership in the franchise franchise franchise to allocate their power to people who to allocate their power to people who to allocate their power to people who are going to create governments that are are going to create governments that are are going to create governments that are going to serve them better. going to serve them better. going to serve them better. And you know, I don't know another way

39:20 And you know, I don't know another way And you know, I don't know another way that this is a bellweather is, and that this is a bellweather is, and that this is a bellweather is, and again, I'm not advocating for this this again, I'm not advocating for this this again, I'm not advocating for this this particular candidate, right? But you've particular candidate, right? But you've particular candidate, right? But you've got somebody who's got a record who's got somebody who's got a record who's got somebody who's got a record who's running as a Democrat for governor in running as a Democrat for governor in running as a Democrat for governor in Virginia Virginia

39:34 Virginia who was the most bipartisan member of the was the most bipartisan member of the House House House >> like by objective measure. Um >> like by objective measure. Um >> like by objective measure. Um she's learned how to do this right. So she's learned how to do this right. So she's learned how to do this right. So what can she and her approach teach so what can she and her approach teach so what can she and her approach teach so many more of us? Um whether she is or many more of us? Um whether she is or many more of us? Um whether she is or isn't the next Governor of Virginia, I isn't the next Governor of Virginia, I isn't the next Governor of Virginia, I think she will be, but whether she is or

39:58 think she will be, but whether she is or think she will be, but whether she is or she isn't, what can that teach us in she isn't, what can that teach us in she isn't, what can that teach us in this process in these months when we get this process in these months when we get this process in these months when we get to see this person and see more of her? to see this person and see more of her? to see this person and see more of her? Um what can that teach us about how we Um what can that teach us about how we Um what can that teach us about how we can change politics in this country to can change politics in this country to can change politics in this country to really truly serve everybody? And she's

40:12 really truly serve everybody? And she's really truly serve everybody? And she's a prior service member, right? Well, you a prior service member, right? Well, you a prior service member, right? Well, you know what's interesting is um so her dad know what's interesting is um so her dad know what's interesting is um so her dad was in the army was in the army was in the army but then became a career law enforcement but then became a career law enforcement but then became a career law enforcement professional. professional. professional. She was in law enforcement, She was in law enforcement, She was in law enforcement, postal service inspector, postal service inspector,

40:29 postal service inspector, then became then became then became a CIA case officer. a CIA case officer. a CIA case officer. >> That's what it was. Okay. >> That's what it was. Okay. >> That's what it was. Okay. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> So, she's like Elizabeth lock and she >> So, she's like Elizabeth lock and she >> So, she's like Elizabeth lock and she has a lot of that has a lot of that has a lot of that intelligence. She's a she's a person in intelligence. She's a she's a person in intelligence. She's a she's a person in her own right. But her own right. But her own right. But >> but both of those folks

40:45 >> but both of those folks >> but both of those folks both have a yes they have a history of both have a yes they have a history of both have a yes they have a history of service in their background um before service in their background um before service in their background um before serving in another way. And this is serving in another way. And this is serving in another way. And this is really what I said to folks standing in really what I said to folks standing in really what I said to folks standing in front of a crowd of over 300 last front of a crowd of over 300 last front of a crowd of over 300 last Saturday. I'm like, listen, I appreciate

41:00 Saturday. I'm like, listen, I appreciate Saturday. I'm like, listen, I appreciate I appreciate being thanked for my I appreciate being thanked for my I appreciate being thanked for my service. service. service. But what I'm also thankful for But what I'm also thankful for But what I'm also thankful for is that is that is that people are beginning to recognize in people are beginning to recognize in people are beginning to recognize in this moment that they can also serve as this moment that they can also serve as this moment that they can also serve as well. And that service doesn't have to well. And that service doesn't have to well. And that service doesn't have to mean putting a uniform on and going off

41:21 mean putting a uniform on and going off mean putting a uniform on and going off to war. That service can be simply to war. That service can be simply to war. That service can be simply making your voice heard, making your making your voice heard, making your making your voice heard, making your presence known presence known presence known and just using your energy, time, and and just using your energy, time, and and just using your energy, time, and resources to ask for better from your resources to ask for better from your resources to ask for better from your government. government. government. That is service that I think any citizen That is service that I think any citizen That is service that I think any citizen um should be proud of rendering this

41:46 um should be proud of rendering this um should be proud of rendering this country or a commonwealth here in country or a commonwealth here in country or a commonwealth here in Virginia or their community. Virginia or their community. Virginia or their community. That's enough. But if you want to do That's enough. But if you want to do That's enough. But if you want to do more, get out there. That's what you and more, get out there. That's what you and more, get out there. That's what you and I here are talking about. Completely I here are talking about. Completely I here are talking about. Completely agree. Nippus driven life. It it is the agree. Nippus driven life. It it is the agree. Nippus driven life. It it is the secret sauce to happiness. I don't I secret sauce to happiness. I don't I secret sauce to happiness. I don't I don't know why it's so difficult for us

42:03 don't know why it's so difficult for us don't know why it's so difficult for us to to to >> to teach people to to understand what to >> to teach people to to understand what to >> to teach people to to understand what to say. So the purpose of this discussion say. So the purpose of this discussion say. So the purpose of this discussion was really to kind of um ground a was really to kind of um ground a was really to kind of um ground a conversation that we had before a conversation that we had before a conversation that we had before a massive election in today's current massive election in today's current massive election in today's current reality and also to show others this

42:21 reality and also to show others this reality and also to show others this much more fabulous face. Um but really like hey a lot's changed a but really like hey a lot's changed a lot's changed for you and I personally a lot's changed for you and I personally a lot's changed for you and I personally a lot's changed around us as well. And so lot's changed around us as well. And so lot's changed around us as well. And so I think as people take a look at what I think as people take a look at what I think as people take a look at what follows this conversation follows this conversation follows this conversation um I think we've given them some context um I think we've given them some context

42:42 um I think we've given them some context to consider uh because we couldn't have to consider uh because we couldn't have to consider uh because we couldn't have predicted the future predicted the future predicted the future but regrettably some of the things that but regrettably some of the things that but regrettably some of the things that could have turned out to be the worst could have turned out to be the worst could have turned out to be the worst case have become reality. Scary to think about it in that way. Scary to think about it in that way. >> I know. >> I know. >> I know. Well, thank you. I appreciate the Well, thank you. I appreciate the Well, thank you. I appreciate the follow. I look forward to seeing you on follow. I look forward to seeing you on follow. I look forward to seeing you on the um on the camp frame campaign trail

43:10 the um on the camp frame campaign trail the um on the camp frame campaign trail helping out your your team. helping out your your team. helping out your your team. >> Look out. I might be knocking on your >> Look out. I might be knocking on your >> Look out. I might be knocking on your door. door. door. >> Hey, I'm on over. >> Hey, I'm on over. >> Hey, I'm on over. >> Thank you, Slim. >> Thank you, Slim. >> Thank you, Slim. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> This is so good. I that sound bite about >> This is so good. I that sound bite about >> This is so good. I that sound bite about purpose. As you were talking, I'm like, purpose. As you were talking, I'm like, purpose. As you were talking, I'm like, "Oh my god, this is gold. She's going to

43:25 "Oh my god, this is gold. She's going to "Oh my god, this is gold. She's going to love this." you will use that um that love this." you will use that um that love this." you will use that um that sound bite for your I know that you sound bite for your I know that you sound bite for your I know that you would mention about like a YouTube page would mention about like a YouTube page would mention about like a YouTube page and Sherry says I have no idea what I'm and Sherry says I have no idea what I'm and Sherry says I have no idea what I'm doing that that was so good as you were doing that that was so good as you were doing that that was so good as you were saying it I was like she's so good at

43:39 saying it I was like she's so good at saying it I was like she's so good at this she this she this she >> well you know what I need Mike >> if you believe that cuz I believe that >> if you believe that cuz I believe that it was so good I was a smile like this it was so good I was a smile like this it was so good I was a smile like this is gold I don't know it's gold you're so is gold I don't know it's gold you're so is gold I don't know it's gold you're so your posture, you're you're just you're your posture, you're you're just you're your posture, you're you're just you're so put together and convincing that I so put together and convincing that I so put together and convincing that I wish that you could see that yourself.

44:07 wish that you could see that yourself. wish that you could see that yourself. I am here because I am putting myself I am here because I am putting myself I am here because I am putting myself out there right now. Like I continue to out there right now. Like I continue to out there right now. Like I continue to I mean that's why I'm sitting here with I mean that's why I'm sitting here with I mean that's why I'm sitting here with you. I continue to put myself out there you. I continue to put myself out there you. I continue to put myself out there because dear friends and family like you because dear friends and family like you because dear friends and family like you continue to emphasize as they see me in

44:24 continue to emphasize as they see me in continue to emphasize as they see me in settings like this that this is it. What settings like this that this is it. What settings like this that this is it. What I'm doing, this is the path I'm doing, this is the path I'm doing, this is the path and I just I just need this tribe and and I just I just need this tribe and and I just I just need this tribe and you're an important member of it. like you're an important member of it. like you're an important member of it. like not only to continue to help hold that not only to continue to help hold that not only to continue to help hold that mirror up and show it to me, but also

44:43 mirror up and show it to me, but also mirror up and show it to me, but also help be a sounding board for me as I am help be a sounding board for me as I am help be a sounding board for me as I am trying to figure out what steps to take. trying to figure out what steps to take. trying to figure out what steps to take. >> Like I I mean, yeah, I called you first >> Like I I mean, yeah, I called you first >> Like I I mean, yeah, I called you first because I'm like, I don't know. I have because I'm like, I don't know. I have because I'm like, I don't know. I have this video. I think people should see this video. I think people should see this video. I think people should see it. How do I do it? Where does it go?

44:55 it. How do I do it? Where does it go? it. How do I do it? Where does it go? What do I do? Um you know what came on a What do I do? Um you know what came on a What do I do? Um you know what came on a Saturday, too? is

45:00 What Freedom Really Means in Uniform

45:01 Saturday, too? is Saturday, too? is this guy, his girlfriend comes up to me this guy, his girlfriend comes up to me this guy, his girlfriend comes up to me and is just, and is just, and is just, you know, being really emotional about the things that I said. emotional about the things that I said. Um, and super deeply sincere. Um, and super deeply sincere. Um, and super deeply sincere. Absolutely. One of the younger Absolutely. One of the younger Absolutely. One of the younger generation, you know, like just out of generation, you know, like just out of generation, you know, like just out of college. college. college. And then her boyfriend starts to speak

45:27 And then her boyfriend starts to speak And then her boyfriend starts to speak up and and add and he's like, "Listen, up and and add and he's like, "Listen, up and and add and he's like, "Listen, there's so much authenticity in your there's so much authenticity in your there's so much authenticity in your voice. voice. voice. It needs more reach." It needs more reach." It needs more reach." >> Mhm. I want to help you with that. >> Mhm. I want to help you with that. >> Mhm. I want to help you with that. >> That's what people tell me. I I know >> That's what people tell me. I I know >> That's what people tell me. I I know that I am not the best interviewer. I

45:44 that I am not the best interviewer. I that I am not the best interviewer. I know I'm not the best public speaker, know I'm not the best public speaker, know I'm not the best public speaker, but people identify the passion and so but people identify the passion and so but people identify the passion and so they and you can't really coach or they and you can't really coach or they and you can't really coach or encourage that, right? Oh, encourage that, right? Oh, encourage that, right? Oh, >> that's the piece that keeps it going >> that's the piece that keeps it going >> that's the piece that keeps it going when they feel that energy. And I'm

45:57 when they feel that energy. And I'm when they feel that energy. And I'm telling you, telling you, telling you, >> why don't you reach out to Ezra Klein? >> why don't you reach out to Ezra Klein? >> why don't you reach out to Ezra Klein? You said you just have a friend that was You said you just have a friend that was You said you just have a friend that was on his show. Why don't you reach out to on his show. Why don't you reach out to on his show. Why don't you reach out to him? Because Rianne Work, who I work for him? Because Rianne Work, who I work for him? Because Rianne Work, who I work for in OC Ledge Affairs. Yeah. Her friend

46:10 in OC Ledge Affairs. Yeah. Her friend in OC Ledge Affairs. Yeah. Her friend was talking to him just a few weeks ago. was talking to him just a few weeks ago. was talking to him just a few weeks ago. I listened to the podcast less than six I listened to the podcast less than six I listened to the podcast less than six weeks ago. weeks ago. weeks ago. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> On his show. >> On his show. >> On his show. >> Yeah. So, why we why you >> Yeah. So, why we why you >> Yeah. So, why we why you >> There's no reason There's no reason why >> There's no reason There's no reason why

46:20 >> There's no reason There's no reason why I can't. I can't. I can't. >> Yeah. Congresswoman Sarah McBride isn't >> Yeah. Congresswoman Sarah McBride isn't >> Yeah. Congresswoman Sarah McBride isn't my friend, but if you're watching, I'd my friend, but if you're watching, I'd my friend, but if you're watching, I'd love if you would be. love if you would be. love if you would be. >> Any bet. >> Any bet. >> Any bet. >> Okay. So, she was the one that was on >> Okay. So, she was the one that was on >> Okay. So, she was the one that was on this show. this show. this show. >> Okay. So,'s friend who's a national >> Okay. So,'s friend who's a national

46:33 >> Okay. So,'s friend who's a national security advisor type person. She was in security advisor type person. She was in security advisor type person. She was in public affairs when I was working with public affairs when I was working with public affairs when I was working with her when Israel Israel uh kicked off, her when Israel Israel uh kicked off, her when Israel Israel uh kicked off, >> right? >> right? >> right? >> Yeah. So, she was just racing on the >> Yeah. So, she was just racing on the >> Yeah. So, she was just racing on the show. So, show. So, show. So, >> so this is But this is exactly Yes. It's

46:46 >> so this is But this is exactly Yes. It's >> so this is But this is exactly Yes. It's like I I keep putting myself together like I I keep putting myself together like I I keep putting myself together and growing the tribe like in ways where and growing the tribe like in ways where and growing the tribe like in ways where the people at least like I'm being more the people at least like I'm being more the people at least like I'm being more um it's not just a good enough word to say it's not just a good enough word to say thoughtful and deliberate, but I'm being thoughtful and deliberate, but I'm being thoughtful and deliberate, but I'm being um

47:08 um um very considered and very considered and very considered and how I So, I mean, we've talked about how I So, I mean, we've talked about how I So, I mean, we've talked about this like with everything I got going on this like with everything I got going on this like with everything I got going on like the kids. Here's what happened with like the kids. Here's what happened with like the kids. Here's what happened with the kids. Youngest son, Civil Air the kids. Youngest son, Civil Air the kids. Youngest son, Civil Air Patrol, color guard. Father's Day Patrol, color guard. Father's Day Patrol, color guard. Father's Day Nationals game. His color guard is

47:25 Nationals game. His color guard is Nationals game. His color guard is presenting the flags at the game. One of presenting the flags at the game. One of presenting the flags at the game. One of my dearest friends from the way back in my dearest friends from the way back in my dearest friends from the way back in the army, who's also a member of um the army, who's also a member of um the army, who's also a member of um the community, the community, the community, one of the letters under the rainbow as one of the letters under the rainbow as one of the letters under the rainbow as I taken a say in it recently. Um, so he I taken a say in it recently. Um, so he

47:46 I taken a say in it recently. Um, so he helped me be like in that moment. He helped me be like in that moment. He helped me be like in that moment. He reached out to me Saturday night before reached out to me Saturday night before reached out to me Saturday night before the game and was like, "Okay, have you the game and was like, "Okay, have you the game and was like, "Okay, have you got the tickets?" And I'm like, and this got the tickets?" And I'm like, and this got the tickets?" And I'm like, and this is like 8:30 at night and I'm like, "I is like 8:30 at night and I'm like, "I is like 8:30 at night and I'm like, "I don't have them. I'm going to get them. don't have them. I'm going to get them.

47:59 don't have them. I'm going to get them. I'll do it." He's, "Forget it. I got it. I'll do it." He's, "Forget it. I got it. I'll do it." He's, "Forget it. I got it. Will you just let me help?" Will you just let me help?" Will you just let me help?" Yes. So, where do we end up? I leave it Yes. So, where do we end up? I leave it Yes. So, where do we end up? I leave it to him. He's not a sports fanatic. Not to him. He's not a sports fanatic. Not to him. He's not a sports fanatic. Not by any stretch, but baseball is like my by any stretch, but baseball is like my by any stretch, but baseball is like my favorite sport. Like it always was favorite sport. Like it always was

48:16 favorite sport. Like it always was growing up, you know. And um and it growing up, you know. And um and it growing up, you know. And um and it still is in this moment. He gets us like still is in this moment. He gets us like still is in this moment. He gets us like I don't know 15 rows back behind the I don't know 15 rows back behind the I don't know 15 rows back behind the home dugout home dugout home dugout >> and with a perfect line of sight view of >> and with a perfect line of sight view of >> and with a perfect line of sight view of right behind home plate where the colors right behind home plate where the colors right behind home plate where the colors are going to be presented. And so I've

48:34 are going to be presented. And so I've are going to be presented. And so I've got got got on the end with a rifle and I I can see on the end with a rifle and I I can see on the end with a rifle and I I can see them right there. It turns out my older them right there. It turns out my older them right there. It turns out my older boy and my exwife were both on the field boy and my exwife were both on the field boy and my exwife were both on the field for this as well. Um, but at least I got for this as well. Um, but at least I got for this as well. Um, but at least I got to see him to see him to see him on Father's Day. on Father's Day. on Father's Day. >> Yeah. So, it's a lot, right? So, I have

48:59 >> Yeah. So, it's a lot, right? So, I have >> Yeah. So, it's a lot, right? So, I have to be very sort of um to be very sort of um to be very sort of um thoughtful about when I do have the thoughtful about when I do have the thoughtful about when I do have the capacity and the energy, when I'm not capacity and the energy, when I'm not capacity and the energy, when I'm not fighting to get my retired pay started, fighting to get my retired pay started, fighting to get my retired pay started, when I'm not fighting to get um you when I'm not fighting to get um you when I'm not fighting to get um you know, my VA claim finished, when I'm not know, my VA claim finished, when I'm not

49:17 know, my VA claim finished, when I'm not fighting to get my gender affirming fighting to get my gender affirming fighting to get my gender affirming hormone therapy hormone therapy hormone therapy uh reestablished either in the military uh reestablished either in the military uh reestablished either in the military health system because I've been kicked health system because I've been kicked health system because I've been kicked out of my clinic or to get the VA to out of my clinic or to get the VA to out of my clinic or to get the VA to live up to their own policy. live up to their own policy. live up to their own policy. Okay. When I'm not bleeding energy on Okay. When I'm not bleeding energy on

49:32 Okay. When I'm not bleeding energy on all of these things, um I'm finding all of these things, um I'm finding all of these things, um I'm finding opportunities to to bring people into opportunities to to bring people into opportunities to to bring people into the tribe that can help me fulfill that the tribe that can help me fulfill that the tribe that can help me fulfill that purpose cuz I don't have all the purpose cuz I don't have all the purpose cuz I don't have all the answers. But talking to somebody like an answers. But talking to somebody like an answers. But talking to somebody like an Ezra Klein or like maybe his producer, Ezra Klein or like maybe his producer,

49:48 Ezra Klein or like maybe his producer, executive producer, like yes. executive producer, like yes. executive producer, like yes. >> And this is why I love having a friend >> And this is why I love having a friend >> And this is why I love having a friend like you because you can say here's the like you because you can say here's the like you because you can say here's the mirror. mirror. mirror. This is what I see. You should see it, This is what I see. You should see it, This is what I see. You should see it, too. I know right away. Here's an idea. too. I know right away. Here's an idea. too. I know right away. Here's an idea. Here's some encouragement. Here's a

50:05 Here's some encouragement. Here's a Here's some encouragement. Here's a suggestion.